The greatest reward to receive is the gift of self to someone in need

I've recently become acquainted with a young man named Tony, and I'd like to share with you what our friendship means to me and what I'm learning and discovering from it.

Tony is a 19 year old ex-convict, on parole, without any real family support..that is committed to getting his shit together.  The deck is clearly not stacked in his favor, and he isn't going to allow that to be an excuse.  I have huge respect for him and this is why; he is an incredibly kind person who is willing to accept that he is capable of achieving unlimited success and he knows he needs help.  While many people might accept defeat, Tony seems to recognize that he has a strength and a hunger for a better life, and I'd like to be a person that helps him make the decisions that will lead him to realizing his dreams.

There are some people who are victims because of events that have impacted them which they had no control over, and there are some people who are victims because they have allowed certain events to manifest as excuses for not being accountable.  A victim is not someone that faces adversity, a victim is someone that allows adversity to rule their reality.  Being a victim is a perspective, a stage within a process of growth, or an obstacle that is not overcome.  We can all be victims of something or someone, but we can also use the feelings of being a victim to find strength, humility, and gratitude that lifts us from the pain and allows us to transcend the depression.  Sometimes this requires psychiatric intervention, sometimes it requires the input from other people, sometimes it requires both, and for some people the antidote comes from an internal source. We can't always help ourselves, and I don't want to judge people for being a victim.  I'm someone who identified that way for many years.

I'm not going to give any more details of Tony's personal life.  I will present a perspective on some general aspects though, and explain the impact that this has on my approach to life as well.  Tony is not a victim today, even though it would be very easy for him to become one.  His life is not easy, and the stress he faces on a daily basis would challenge anyone.  On top of that, Tony is battling clinical depression...battling being the operative word.  He knows he suffers from depression, does not deny it, and he knows why medical intervention is a necessity is managing this illness.

Over the course of my life I have met many people, but I don't know if I have had the honor of being acquainted with anyone with more courage than Tony.  He doesn't know he has courage and I'm not going to try and convince him to see it, but I recognize a depth of strength that is genuine, uncultivated, and encompassing.  The reason I identify this quality in Tony is because he is making the right decisions without second guessing himself, and he is taking the risk of not letting himself be angry or a victim.  Today Tony is a survivor, but he is also extraordinary in that he knows that as long as he keeps challenging himself...anything is possible.  I'm learning that now as an adult who has had the unconditional support of friends and family, access to resources, and 2nd, 3rd, and 4th changes to correct my errors in judgment.  For Tony, I don't know where this comes from, but he has a magic that will lead to incredible accomplishments where his kindness, sensitivity, and humanity will become an example for other people in similar situations.

I've made the decision to make myself available as a friend to someone that deserves to be treated with decency and respect.  By engaging Tony absent of judgment I have learned things about myself that I am proud of.  I have learned that by giving from my a desire to contribute, I grow in ways that cannot be measured, and the goodness that is created goes beyond our interactions, and will have a lasting impact on the lives of other people.  We owe it to ourselves to allow for our compassion to drive our efforts...we owe it to ourselves to be artists and express our truths without fear.  If we inspire others, we really inspire ourselves, and that is a cycle that can only produce positive results throughout communities and even societies.

The greatest reward to receive is the gift of self to someone in need.