Outside the box...beyond the pale

I made a decision this morning...okay, not so much a decision as a recognition of my truth.  I'm a rare bird, an eccentric, one of those people that doesn't really fall into line and isn't afraid to make an impression.  My intent is good, my hope is to bring some positive energy and to allow for my free thinking mind to create something of value as a product of my interactions.  As a result...I shoot from the hip in my expressiveness and I celebrate my impulsiveness.  I let it fly and let the chips fall where they may, and that is how I like to live.  I do realize that there are going to be consequences to this approach that are both desirable and undesirable, and I am will to accept the responsibility for whatever happens.  This is who I am, and I like being this way.

Growing up I was never a person that conformed to the conventions around me.  It wasn't that I didn't want to conform, rather I never knew what the conventions were.  I was not very observant on the extrinsic...I was more focused on the intrinsic.  In some ways I lived inside a bubble, with an intellect that was founded on complicated thought processes as opposed to accumulated knowledge.  I always knew I was a thinker, but I had difficulty producing content or accessing my cognitive abilities in ways that were tangible, such as in school.  I was a horrible student...the kid that marched to the beat of his own drummer.  And damn, that was really a tough way to be a kid and adolescent.

Fast forward from 1983 to the end of 2011, and the body of knowledge that I've accumulated from my life experiences and desire to become productive, successful, and fulfilled, and I now see that everything that I was has contributed to the person I am today.  Because of all that I went through in the past, I now have gratitude, humility, and empathy for the human condition.  I love to recognize the remarkable qualities of the people around me, to honor them for their uniqueness and the impact of their efforts.  I love to see how so many of the people that I knew growing up in the suburbs of Detroit have become such warm, caring, and fine people.  I love to read about individuals that, through their selfless ambition, have contributed to social, cultural, and personal liberation.  I now recognize that everyone is an artist, and that their medium is specific to their expertise.

I'd like to share with you a few examples of people that I consider to represent the qualities that I described above.

• Dr. Abraham Nemeth  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Nemeth
• Dr. Nemeth's story is one of strength, belief, artistry, and love. 
• He has been an innovator, educator, artist, scientist, and true polymath. 

• Stanford Ovshinsky  http://www.strategy-business.com/article/11111?gko=ddb47
• In the name of social activism, Stanford Ovshinsky has developed technologies that have lead to nearly 400 patents.
• A true genius committed to the future well being of humanity.

• Benjamin Zander  http://benjaminzander.com/
•  Benjamin Zander is the Conductor of The Boston Philharmonia, and the co-author (with his wife Rosamund) of The Art of Possibility.  
• His gentleness and ability to create beauty in people around him has inspired people of all ages.

• Christopher Hitchens  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Hitchens
• Christopher Hitchens was clearly an individual who was willing to address topics with conclusions that we not only un-popular, but also provoked animosity from people that were allied with him on some viewpoints.
• His articulation, and ability to deliver scathing perspectives with cogent relevance may never be repeated.  One of the great orators of our time.
• I didn't agree with him on everything, but always appreciated his conviction, and the foundation of his presentation.

I may not inspire as many people as the people I mentioned, but I do want to make sure that I inspire myself, and that I create solutions that work for me in achieving my objectives.  And if I do something that you find may work for you, my satisfaction becomes multiplied.  So...here is the idea I am going to try out today; my resume sucks...it doesn't show the qualities that I think matter.  My resume shows that I've been a recruiter that has done some strategy work.  But I'm much more than that.  I am able to engage with people in a comfortable and disarming manner that offers a comfortable and very productive dialog.  I am able to establish presence, and connection.  I am able to create partnerships that invite people to share in comfort what their objectives are.  I am effective at creating a casual yet professional atmosphere that offers a mutual trust based on transparency and integrity.  I am passionate and excited about the possibilities.  And I genuinely like learning about people, which is something that leads to very fruitful exchanges.  My resume doesn't show that I'm a problem solver, that creates strategies and outcomes which are comprehensive, scalable, and cost-prohibitive.

In order for these qualities to be made accessible to potential clients, partners, and/or employers, I have decided to create a resume addendum.  A document that is sent along with my resume which offers a descriptive of how I see myself.  It isn't a paragraph nor is it a manifesto..but it is a written, first person offering intended to make my intangibles apparent and accessible.  I am going to work on that today, and then I will post it to my blog along with my resume.

I have a secret, and so do you

I'm gonna share a secret with you...please tell people about it, because I don't want this secret to stay hidden.  Are you ready???  Here goes.  I'm full of shit!!!  I am...there is no denying it.  I tell myself things that I don't intend on following through on, and I make excuses or listen to the excuses I create to rationalize my bullshit.  Here is another secret.  Ready??  You're full of shit too, and so are your friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors.  Humans are full of coping mechanisms that have evolved over many years and become part of our instinct when faced with challenges or obstacles.  There is nothing we can do to stop our brains from creating excuses or stories...but we can choose how to respond to them.

When I say that we are all full of shit, I do not mean that as a negative judgment that we should feel shame over.  Rather, I am hoping that by exposing this fact, and it is a fact, that awareness can be raised, leading to greater autonomy in how we make decisions that involve conscious and subconscious input.  In truth, I'm proud to tell you that I'm full of shit.  In some ways it is a very liberating statement that validates my humanity.  If I told you that I don't resist things that provoke anxiety in me, I can't imagine you'd believe that.  I hope you wouldn't.  As humans we do have a drive for survival, and I am assuming that this drive manifests now in ways that are not always productive, but that do match old impulses to protect ourselves when threatened.

While I believe that all people are extraordinary, I am also of the belief that few humans accomplish extraordinary results.  Do you do extraordinary things?  If so, please let me know what they are.  If you don't do extraordinary things, then I am guessing it is not because you don't want to.  I can't imagine that anyone strives to be mediocre, or barely sufficient.  I could be wrong, but I know that I don't want to do just enough to maintain the status quo.  I want my life to be an inspiring example that helps someone else to find greater satisfaction in their life.

I'd like to challenge people to tell me what their greatest goals are.  What are your dreams?  What is the greatest impact you want to make in your world?  I'd like to know who inspires you and why.  What are the qualities that you admire and desire to represent?  If you're willing to accept this challenge, then I also want to know what is keeping you from realizing your dreams, and how can I help you.

The following is a list of books that I've been reading which I highly recommend.

1. The Fred Factor, by Mark Sanborn
2. The Innovator's DNA
3. The Speed of Truth
4. Blink
5. Outliers
6. Tribes
7. Linchpin
8. The Art of Possibility

The greatest reward to receive is the gift of self to someone in need

I've recently become acquainted with a young man named Tony, and I'd like to share with you what our friendship means to me and what I'm learning and discovering from it.

Tony is a 19 year old ex-convict, on parole, without any real family support..that is committed to getting his shit together.  The deck is clearly not stacked in his favor, and he isn't going to allow that to be an excuse.  I have huge respect for him and this is why; he is an incredibly kind person who is willing to accept that he is capable of achieving unlimited success and he knows he needs help.  While many people might accept defeat, Tony seems to recognize that he has a strength and a hunger for a better life, and I'd like to be a person that helps him make the decisions that will lead him to realizing his dreams.

There are some people who are victims because of events that have impacted them which they had no control over, and there are some people who are victims because they have allowed certain events to manifest as excuses for not being accountable.  A victim is not someone that faces adversity, a victim is someone that allows adversity to rule their reality.  Being a victim is a perspective, a stage within a process of growth, or an obstacle that is not overcome.  We can all be victims of something or someone, but we can also use the feelings of being a victim to find strength, humility, and gratitude that lifts us from the pain and allows us to transcend the depression.  Sometimes this requires psychiatric intervention, sometimes it requires the input from other people, sometimes it requires both, and for some people the antidote comes from an internal source. We can't always help ourselves, and I don't want to judge people for being a victim.  I'm someone who identified that way for many years.

I'm not going to give any more details of Tony's personal life.  I will present a perspective on some general aspects though, and explain the impact that this has on my approach to life as well.  Tony is not a victim today, even though it would be very easy for him to become one.  His life is not easy, and the stress he faces on a daily basis would challenge anyone.  On top of that, Tony is battling clinical depression...battling being the operative word.  He knows he suffers from depression, does not deny it, and he knows why medical intervention is a necessity is managing this illness.

Over the course of my life I have met many people, but I don't know if I have had the honor of being acquainted with anyone with more courage than Tony.  He doesn't know he has courage and I'm not going to try and convince him to see it, but I recognize a depth of strength that is genuine, uncultivated, and encompassing.  The reason I identify this quality in Tony is because he is making the right decisions without second guessing himself, and he is taking the risk of not letting himself be angry or a victim.  Today Tony is a survivor, but he is also extraordinary in that he knows that as long as he keeps challenging himself...anything is possible.  I'm learning that now as an adult who has had the unconditional support of friends and family, access to resources, and 2nd, 3rd, and 4th changes to correct my errors in judgment.  For Tony, I don't know where this comes from, but he has a magic that will lead to incredible accomplishments where his kindness, sensitivity, and humanity will become an example for other people in similar situations.

I've made the decision to make myself available as a friend to someone that deserves to be treated with decency and respect.  By engaging Tony absent of judgment I have learned things about myself that I am proud of.  I have learned that by giving from my a desire to contribute, I grow in ways that cannot be measured, and the goodness that is created goes beyond our interactions, and will have a lasting impact on the lives of other people.  We owe it to ourselves to allow for our compassion to drive our efforts...we owe it to ourselves to be artists and express our truths without fear.  If we inspire others, we really inspire ourselves, and that is a cycle that can only produce positive results throughout communities and even societies.

The greatest reward to receive is the gift of self to someone in need.

The Starting Line

At age 47 I've discovered writing.  I don't mean that before this I was incapable of articulating my thoughts in written form, rather I've discovered that writing is a vehicle that allows me to express my excitement, my emotions, my hopes and desires, and my belief that encouraging people to be extraordinary is a worthy pursuit.  If I'm willing to encourage other people to be extraordinary, that means that I am encouraging myself also, and that requires commitment, collaboration, creativity, and a willingness to face new ways of approaching each day.  What I want is to raise awareness that we are all artists.  We'll discuss what that means later.

I'm going to start with a commitment to readers and to myself.  Here it is: I will be honest.  In return I ask you for the same.  I ask you to be honest with me, but even moreso I ask you to be genuine with yourself.  I don't think you should be excessively hard on yourself, rather I hope that if I demonstrate a level of objectivity that it will set an example of what it means to battle self criticism with acceptance absent of judgment.  My goal here is not a defined destination...rather it is a journey, a partnership, an ongoing exchange of insights and discoveries.

I'm currently at a very exciting point in my life.  At age 47 I'm having a great time.  I've come to realize what makes me happy and what leads me to feeling complete and powerful.  My confidence and self-esteem are my fabric, my foundation, and my strength.  I am willing to stand up and do things without crippling fear, and I'm willing to take risks that require me to face discomfort and anxiety.  The benefits of going after my goals without creating unnecessary obstacles include gratitude and humility.  My outlook is one that allows for all possibilities, and my internal dialog encourages me, and is happy for me.  I actually accept who I am without caring how other people judge me.  My conscience is clear, my focus is undisturbed, and I trust that I will do what I set out for.  I deserve the gifts of my efforts and my approach to my growth.  I now allow myself to be visible, and I learn in ways that weren't available in my past because I want to grow.

Because I'm more connected to my identity, I've been connecting with other people in more productive and gratifying ways.  I'm exchanging knowledge with people to create opportunities and foster creative dialog.   I'm facilitating dialog that is leading to novel approaches to common challenges.  I've come to realize that considering new ideas by engaging with other people is one way of accepting that all possibilities are available to us if we allow ourselves access to them. This engagement is also a chance to generate a positive energy that encourages further cooperation.  We all have unique experiences and perspectives.  As humans we don't add data to our body of knowledge...we perceive and negotiate our understandings and call it reality.  Considering the reality of other people is an opportunity that creates amazing potential.